When it comes to games, however, the fans are left out to dry until preseason begins in August. To help us stave off our football slumps, I've recapped all 32 teams' performances from this season by grading their performances from A+ to F. What did your team score? If you're in the AFC, probably below a B.
AFC EAST:
Buffalo Bills: B-
Perhaps the biggest surprise this season was seeing the Bills make the playoffs for the first time since the Stone Age. Buffalo's secondary emerged as one of the best in the cesspool that is the AFC, led by strong safety Micah Hyde and cornerback Tre'Davious White. LeSean McCoy ran circles around the best rushing defenses, such as Miami and Kansas City. The Bills even stood toe-to-toe with some of the best teams in the league such as Atlanta, Carolina, and the aforementioned Chiefs. Your only question marks came in the form of your recieving core and the revolving door of Nathan Peterman and Tyrod Taylor, who both threw more interceptions this season than Mr. Interception himself in Ryan Fitzpatrick, a former Buffalo Bill I might add. The QB situation has been up in the air in Buffalo for a while now, but expect this team to trade for Cousins, Foles, or possibly Case Keenum and draft a Wide Reciever to finally round themselves out. I have a feeling we've only seen a sliver of what this team is capable of.
Miami Dolphins: C
I realized something this year; the Miami Dolphins are the closest thing to an NFL farm club team. From Wes Welker in the mid-2000's to Jay Ajayi this season, the Miami Dolphins have proved that they are a development team for the rest of the league. How many talented players have dumped this anemic organization and gone on to glory? The coaching staff for the Dolphins have no idea how to use their talent. They'd sooner start an aging Jay Cutler over a Matt Moore who had just found his rhythm in 2016, and they paid the price. When you turn on a football game, you expect to be entertained, but this team did nothing but bore me week after week with predictable offensive schemes, a flurry of interceptions, and an uninspired running game. The defense made good plays when they had too, practically winning the game for them against the Falcons and Broncos, but it did little to cover up the atrocious offense we saw all year. Should we have expected anything else? The last time Adam Gase and Cutler were together was with the Chicago Bears in 2015, when they went 6-10. They also went 6-10 this year. Gee, what a coincidence.
New England Patriots: A-
As usual, the Patriots get a grade above a B+. However, it's not the usual A+ or A. Why? Simple...the defense. I can't remember the last time a Patriots defense looked so completely lost. This team went from being an iron curtain to a set of bedsheets in the matter of one season. You let a backup quarterback score 41 points against you (no offense to Nick Foles). You let the Dolphins, who I just finished ranting about, score 27 points. Hell, you lost the first game of the season at home by 15. What is wrong with you guys? The only reason the Patriots won the AFC once again is because Tom Brady is some kind of superhuman quarterback who continues to melt secondaries across the league. The offense rallied behind him like the Confederates did Stonewall Jackson, led by an immortal golem in Rob Gronkowski, Brandin Cooks, and Danny Amendola, with Rex Burkhead and Dion Lewis providing an excellent compliment in the run game. The Patriots will never be bad with Brady at the helm, even with an awful defense.
New York Jets: C+
The Jets were certainly not an A or even B worthy team this year, but I have to give credit where it's due; the Jets surprised me this year. Josh McCown may have trouble finding a nest, but any QB who can win games for more than 5 different teams is good in my book. New York had a worse record than the Dolphins, but I'd take a game featuring Josh McCown over Jay Cutler any day. This is a team that was proud to finish 5-11, considering everyone pegged them to go 2-14. This team is still trash...but not the kind that smells. Not much to say here...except McCown's injury is awful and I hope he can keep playing. The Jets need him.
AFC NORTH
Baltimore Ravens: B
The Ravens have always found a way to make defense exciting, and this season was no different. If the Ravens didn't have at least one interception in every game, you can color me surprised. I cringed everytime a young quarterback took the field against these guys, because I knew how badly they would be chewed up and spat out. That brutal strip-sack on Matt Stafford still makes me shudder. As intimidating as the Raven defense was, however, their offense was like a pit bull without teeth. Joe Flacco has completely regressed from a Super Bowl quarterback to just another scrub in the AFC North. Alex Collins was a decent running back, and Jeremy Maclin and Nick Boyle could at least catch a football, but this offense was almost Miami levels of bad. How bad could they possibly be? They lost to the Chicago Bears, end of discussion. If it weren't for their incredible defense, the Ravens would be a C team at best. If they fix the offense this offseason, however, watch out. These Ravens may get a third ring.
Cincinnati Bungles: C
With 32 teams in the NFL, it's easy to forget at least one or two teams when asked to list them out. This happened to be one of them this year. Everyone said Andy Dalton had an off year in 2016, and that he would improve. If you consider not throwing a single TD until week three an improvement, consider getting your head examined. How this team stayed in playoff contention for as long as they did still a mystery to me. If it weren't for AJ Green and Joe Mixon, this team would probably be the worst in the NFL. Vontaze Burfect and the defense were completely useless, and the mistakes on special teams make you wonder if these athletes are playing the right sport. This team needs improvement in just about every area...and I may be wrong in saying that I like Marvin Lewis, but even I'll concede that he's not the guy who can rebuild this team from the ground up.
Cleveland Browns: F
Do I even need to write anything for this one? The Browns are the second team in NFL history to go 0-16...and the guy who coached this team is STILL THERE. Even with an average-at-best defense, this team doesn't deserve a D-. DeShone Kizer looked like a high school quarterback, throwing metric tons of picks and overthrown balls. The Cleveland Browns are like the 19 year old guy in your freshman math class that smells like weed and always conveniently has a doctor's note the day of a big test. They find creative ways to get out of actually succeeding. This team has made losing an art form...an F for you!
Pittsburgh Steelers: A
As poorly run as this team was, there's no denying that the Pittsburgh Steelers were the team to beat this year. Ben Roethlisberger had a career season, and the killer bees Antonio Brown, Martavus, Bryant, and running back Le'Veon Bell practically guaranteed Big Ben would get at least one passing TD to his name per game. Jesse James was an outlaw at the tight-end position, and Chris Boswell pulled victory from the hands of defeat every time the Steelers needed him. Even with the devestating injury to Ryan Shazier, the defense was vastly improved this year. The only thing the Steelers lacked was coordination. Every player on this team is talented, but they couldn't seem to bring it together against even easy opponents like the Colts or Bears. This team was extraordinary, despite the painful end to their season, and one could hope they'll continue to be a threat in 2018...but this is sadly unlikely. Le'Veon Bell may be out the door, Ben's age is gonna catch up with him, and the offensive coordinator is gone (although that could be a blessing).
AFC South
Houston Texans: D
With DeShaun Watson, this team is an A- or a B+. Without him, this team is another jobber to the Jaguars and Titans. DeShaun Watson, in the 8 games he played for the Texans, proved to be the best quarterback the organization has ever had. He could run like Cam Newton, sling it like Peyton Manning, and had the instincts of Russell Wilson. The ACL injury not only sealed his season, but the Texans as well. It didn't help that J.J Watt was on the shelf as well. Without them, this team was simply there. The defense was especially awful, and not even DeShaun Watson and the excellent core of receivers he had could salvage that. This team could've beaten the Seahawks and Patriots at home, but the defense just couldn't ever pull through for this team. Don't be surprised if this healthy team makes a deep January push next season: I expect at least a B performance from this team, especially if they draft some good defenders or a running back.
Indianapolis Colts: D
You know your football team is bad when your best player is a 44 year old kicker. The Colts may share the same grade as the Texans, but at least the Texans had potential on their side.The Colts, meanwhile, are like the AFC's retirement home, killing off your favorite washed up stars from the early and mid-2000's like cocaine. Frank Gore was once a great running back, but his tank ran on E all season. Jacoby Brissett has potential, but not with a poorly run glue factory of a team like this one. Should I even mention the defense? If you consider getting one fluky safety on Russell Wilson a season highlight, your defense needs work. I'd like to say I'm optimistic about this team next year, with all the new management and a new, solid head coach, but unless Andrew Luck's shoulder magically heals itself, expect another season in the doldrums of the NFL's weakest division.
Jacksonville Jaguars: A
This was a surprisingly fun team to watch this season. Nothing does my sports-loving heart good quite like watching a team transform from a laughingstock into an irresistible force, and that's what happened here. Hey Cleveland, THIS is how you use young players and good draft picks. Sacksonville started out as a cringy moniker...but after the first few games, the other teams in the AFC were cringing for a different reason. I still love how many naysayers this team has; first of all, their schedule was absolutely NOT easy. Pittsburgh is a dynasty, Baltimore's defense was a bad match up for Blakeception, and the Seahawks are always tough...but this team beat them all. Soundly. In fact, if it weren't for the 12th man of New England (the refs), the Jaguars would've slain the beast at home. Leonard Fournette plays like the team's namesake, bowling and jumping over defenders like a wildcat. Jalen Ramsey and A.J Buoye toyed with even the best of the NFL's quarterbacks. Blake Bortles, who was once the wild card of this team, took some time to get going this season. Once he did, he shredded secondaries like a veteran. I'm excited for this team going forward, and with the easy schedule they have next year, I expect them to go even further.
Tennessee Titans: C+
You made the playoffs with a 9-7 record and beat Andy Reid in the playoffs. What do you want, a friggin' medal? Titans, I'm not gonna spare any team from the grades they deserve, no matter how far they made it in January. The fact of the matter is, everything about you guys is like watching paint dry. I would rather watch Attack on Titan than watch this team...yes, even anime is trasher than this team. Marcus Mariota has the potential to be the best hybrid quarterback since Cam Newton, and Delanie Walker is a stud at tight end...but that's about it with this team. I can't even grade this team properly because I just don't care about it enough. At least you had the brains to fire Mike Mularkey, who truly lived up to his last name this season. Hopefully this team will actually do something for me next year.
AFC South
Houston Texans: D
With DeShaun Watson, this team is an A- or a B+. Without him, this team is another jobber to the Jaguars and Titans. DeShaun Watson, in the 8 games he played for the Texans, proved to be the best quarterback the organization has ever had. He could run like Cam Newton, sling it like Peyton Manning, and had the instincts of Russell Wilson. The ACL injury not only sealed his season, but the Texans as well. It didn't help that J.J Watt was on the shelf as well. Without them, this team was simply there. The defense was especially awful, and not even DeShaun Watson and the excellent core of receivers he had could salvage that. This team could've beaten the Seahawks and Patriots at home, but the defense just couldn't ever pull through for this team. Don't be surprised if this healthy team makes a deep January push next season: I expect at least a B performance from this team, especially if they draft some good defenders or a running back.
Indianapolis Colts: D
You know your football team is bad when your best player is a 44 year old kicker. The Colts may share the same grade as the Texans, but at least the Texans had potential on their side.The Colts, meanwhile, are like the AFC's retirement home, killing off your favorite washed up stars from the early and mid-2000's like cocaine. Frank Gore was once a great running back, but his tank ran on E all season. Jacoby Brissett has potential, but not with a poorly run glue factory of a team like this one. Should I even mention the defense? If you consider getting one fluky safety on Russell Wilson a season highlight, your defense needs work. I'd like to say I'm optimistic about this team next year, with all the new management and a new, solid head coach, but unless Andrew Luck's shoulder magically heals itself, expect another season in the doldrums of the NFL's weakest division.
Jacksonville Jaguars: A
This was a surprisingly fun team to watch this season. Nothing does my sports-loving heart good quite like watching a team transform from a laughingstock into an irresistible force, and that's what happened here. Hey Cleveland, THIS is how you use young players and good draft picks. Sacksonville started out as a cringy moniker...but after the first few games, the other teams in the AFC were cringing for a different reason. I still love how many naysayers this team has; first of all, their schedule was absolutely NOT easy. Pittsburgh is a dynasty, Baltimore's defense was a bad match up for Blakeception, and the Seahawks are always tough...but this team beat them all. Soundly. In fact, if it weren't for the 12th man of New England (the refs), the Jaguars would've slain the beast at home. Leonard Fournette plays like the team's namesake, bowling and jumping over defenders like a wildcat. Jalen Ramsey and A.J Buoye toyed with even the best of the NFL's quarterbacks. Blake Bortles, who was once the wild card of this team, took some time to get going this season. Once he did, he shredded secondaries like a veteran. I'm excited for this team going forward, and with the easy schedule they have next year, I expect them to go even further.
Tennessee Titans: C+
You made the playoffs with a 9-7 record and beat Andy Reid in the playoffs. What do you want, a friggin' medal? Titans, I'm not gonna spare any team from the grades they deserve, no matter how far they made it in January. The fact of the matter is, everything about you guys is like watching paint dry. I would rather watch Attack on Titan than watch this team...yes, even anime is trasher than this team. Marcus Mariota has the potential to be the best hybrid quarterback since Cam Newton, and Delanie Walker is a stud at tight end...but that's about it with this team. I can't even grade this team properly because I just don't care about it enough. At least you had the brains to fire Mike Mularkey, who truly lived up to his last name this season. Hopefully this team will actually do something for me next year.
AFC West
Denver Broncos: D
Oh, how the mighty dynasty has fallen. As soon as Peyton Manning retired, you knew you guys were completely boned...this season was all the proof you needed. This team couldn't score a touchdown if Ragnarok was upon them, and the mile-high advantage literally vanished into thin air. A revolving door of quarterbacks and running backs and an underachieving defense left this team to mire in the pits of the AFC West. Sign Kirk Cousins and go back to being 8-8; at least you weren't a laughingstock with that record.
Kansas City Chiefs: B
Okay, someone explain to me how this team ended up going 10-6? This team was like the release of No Man's Sky a few years ago: they got everyone's hopes up early in the season, only to let the cracks start showing when this team needed to win the most. One week, they killed the Patriots at home. Two months later, they struggled to beat the goddamn Giants. This is the only team in the league that struggles almost EXCLUSIVELY because of their coach. Kansas City has the best athletes in the world at every position. Travis Kelce is a skinwalker at tight-end, Alex Smith is a dual threat QB who can run just as well as he can throw. Kareem Hunt came out of nowhere to be one of the leagues best running backs. Tyreek Hill burns cornerbacks and safeties like shamanic fire. The defense is weak, but who needs it when you have so many weapons on offense? Unfortunately, with Andy Reid at the helm, you know this team is gonna make bad decisions that ultimately cost them...we saw it against the Titans. I hate to give a team that upends the Patriots a grade like this, but as they say, talent wins games, while consistency wins trophies.
Los Angeles Chargers: C+
Why was there so much hype behind this team at the end of the season? They beat the Bills and Browns, and suddenly they're Super Bowl contenders? Not in my book, hoss. The Chargers were never able to bring it all together when they needed to. They could've beaten the Miami Dolphins, but special teams fell apart and they missed a crucial field goal. They could've beaten the Patriots, but the defense chose to choke it away. They could've beaten the Chiefs and taken the lead in their division, but goddamn it, they completely short-circuited in every way and let Travis Kelce march all over them. The only consistent player on this team is Phillip Rivers, who lacks the receiving core to make him one of the league's elite (aside from Keenan Allen). This team is good, not great, and they need a few good young'uns to make them competitive in the years to come. Also, having more than six fans would be nice.
Oakland Raiders: C-
What the actual heck was that, Oakland? You had a perfectly healthy team, beast mode, and a re-surging Derek Carr behind center and you couldn't even win 7 games? Shameful display! It's not even like they had a tough schedule; Miami, Buffalo, the Jets, and the Giants come to mind. The Raiders have regressed to their late 2000's selves, and are now desperately pulling Jon Gruden out of retirement to save themselves from the pit of misery. It didn't help that your defense couldn't stop a good QB if they were given the keys to their offensive lines. This team is like the red-headed basement dweller, making themselves awkwardly known for one season before calling it quits and folding in an already weak AFC. To be honest, Derek Carr played relatively well this season, but Marshawn Lynch was a massive disappointment. Don't even get me started on the noodle arms of Crabtree...
NFC EAST:
Dallas Cowboys: B-
Snore...A team I was looking forward to watching this season completely prolapsed and disappointed me. Everyone thought it was gonna be a Raiders/Cowboys Super Bowl this year? We can have no nice holdovers from 2016. The good news is Ezekiel Elliot (when he was playing, lol) was still an absolute beast at running back. The bad news is Ezekiel Elliot was the only player who showed up. 2017 did a number on this team: Dak Prescott had the rookie season he skipped, Dez Bryant is just another wide receiver, and...who's this Jason Witten guy? Even with a solid defense up front, you guys still couldn't stop Russell Wilson and Aaron Rodgers from shredding your secondary. It's gonna take a lot for this team to be truly awful again, however, as they're still young and they know where they need to improve. I expect Dallas to give Philly a run for their money in the NFC East title hunt next year. Until then, however, they're the second most boring team in the league to watch, behind Miami.
New York Giants: D-
It takes a lot for sports to make me cry. I cried when Daniel Bryan won the WWE Championship at Wrestlemania, and when Simone Biles won gold at the Olympics. I also cried when the Giants lost their entire receiving core in one game. No fanbase deserves that; what on Earth did Eli Manning ever do to Dean Spanos? I'm just kidding...Eli did it to himself. All you had to do was give this guy the evil eye and he'd fumble the ball. If your two-time Super Bowl MVP quarterback can't hold on to the football, what good is this team? Even with a healthy Beckham Jr., Shepherd, Engram and Lewis Jr., this team couldn't win a damn game. Orleans Darkwa was the NFL equivalent of a store-brand running back, and the secondary couldn't shut down Blaine Gabbert or Jameis Winston, let alone Nick Foles or Dak Prescott. This team was AWFUL this year, and as much as people want to crap on one player or Ben McAdoo, it was ultimately a team effort. Take your lucky wins against the Broncos, Redskins, and Andy Choke-Reid and get out of my sight!
Philadelphia Eagles: A+
As the saying goes: "and now for something completely different." Nobody can argue that this was one of the best run sports teams we've seen in the past ten years. Everyone thought Philly was done without Carson Wentz, who was shaping up to be the gunslinger the Eagles had been looking for. Everyone was writing off their defense as just "capable." Everyone thought Doug Pederson was a hothead and a kamikaze head coach who was going to inevitably choke in January. Everyone, myself included, thought WRONG. Nick Foles took the helm and picked up right where Carson Wentz left off, leading a completely unpredictable offense that peaked at the perfect time (at the expense of my Vikings). Jay Ajayi and Legarrett Blount, with their different running styles, toyed with defensive ends and tackles like puppet masters. The defense played like the offense, aggressively running over offensive lines and taking the pigskin by force from some of the NFL's elite. This team's only losses came against the Cowboys in a fluke loss, an overachieving Chiefs team, and the Seahawks at home. They beat the reigning NFC champs, the best defense in the NFL, and Tom Brady's Patriots in their element to bring home the organization's first Lombardi, all in games they were pegged as underdogs. We may have a new dynasty on our hands folks...although I'm curious to see where Nick Foles will end up.
Washington Redskins: C
Wow, the NFC East was really boring this year. I suppose any team could have a good record if they were in the same division as the Giants and Cowboys. The same goes for the Redskins, whose "meh" worthy performance this year only confirms this team will be stuck in neutral for the next ten seasons. The Redskins weren't necessarily boring to watch, but their games are like pro wrestling matches: you already know the outcome. What's the point of watching a team if you know they're going to lose? Kirk Cousins continues to be the proverbial Last Jedi on this team, as the rest of the team falls to the dark side of mediocrity.
NFC North
Chicago Bears: C
As easy as it would be to dismiss this team as just another jobber to Aaron Rodgers and the Pack, I can't seem to do that. What on Earth makes me defend this team? Could it be that they completely swept the AFC North? Maybe it's because their special teams package is lightyears ahead of the rest of the league? Or maybe it's because their defense finds creative ways to turn the ball over in their favor? Regardless, the Bears faced the same problems the Ravens did, only the Ravens could actually score every once in a while. Chicago's problem is they couldn't capitalize on the opportunities they got, and that falls on the quarterback. Mitchell Trubiskey has the maturity and instincts of a good quarterback, but he still has a long way to go when it comes to actually throwing the football. If you put a solid quarterback on this team with that defense and special teams, and Chicago could actually be a threat in the NFC.
Detroit Lions: B
Yeah, I ranked a team that didn't even make the playoffs above teams that did, what of it? The Lions seemed like a better overall team this year; they were just stuck in the wrong conference. You'd think money would go to Matt Stafford's head, but the man continues to have the instincts and keys needed to succeed. Complimenting him was a mane of worthy receivers, including Marvin Jones Jr., T.J Jones, and Golden Tate. The Lions defense brought several good offenses to their knees. The rush defense wasn't anything special, but the secondary was a solid improvement from last year, led by the proletariot Darius Slay. This is a good team, but not a great team...the definition of a B team. If you wanted to make the NFC playoffs this year, you had to be excellent.
Green Bay Packers: C-
I'm being awfully generous, giving this team a C+. Without Aaron Rodgers, this team was nothing more than the Separatists without General Grievous. Your defense was pitiful, Brett Hundley could barely take a snap, and your receivers apparently don't know how to run a route or catch a football without A12 holding their hands. This team gets a C- for those few games with Aaron Rodgers. That's it. Otherwise, I'd give them a D. How do you almost lose to Tampa Bay, the Bears, and the friggin' Browns? Hopefully, Aaron's injury will necessitate much needed change in this organization. Replacing your offensive and defensive coordinators will help, but you need depth. You need a backup QB who can take the helm when Rodgers goes down. You need a defense that doesn't rely on the occasional sack from Clay Matthews and a Ha'ha Clinton-Dix stuck in quicksand. I may be a Vikings fan, but I like good competition. Make me hate you again, damn it!
Minnesota Vikings: A
I hope people don't remember this team for getting blown out in the NFC Championship, because the Vikings came to play this year. Much like the Vegas Golden Knights, it seemed like the Vikings kept finding ways to win even with the odds stacked against them. Glass cannon QB Sam Bradford goes down after one game, leaving disgraced former Rams QB Case Keenum to take the reins. He turns into one of the league's most reliable gunslingers and absolutely smokes every secondary he meets. Prospective franchise running back Dalvin Cook is laid out after only four weeks...Letavius Murray and Jerick McKinnon introduce a dual threat running scheme nobody can prepare for. The Vikings defense was ranked towards the bottom of the league last year...they end up channeling the Purple People Eaters and shutting down every offense they face (until January). The presence of proven receivers Stefon Diggs, Adam Thielen, and Kyle Rudolph didn't hurt either. A team with depth like this is hard to topple...unless you're the Eagles. Still, I'm positive about this team's future. They're young, they're still hungry, and no matter what QB they choose, I'm sure they'll make it back to the promised land one of these years and finally claim that elusive first ring. #skol
NFC South
Atlanta Falcons: A-
After they barely beat the Chicago Bears, I was convinced this team would finish 7-9 and be completely forgotten about. Teams that lose Super Bowls have to undergo some kind of hangover after all...but a Super Bowl where you blow a 25 point lead? How do you come back from that?! Simple...completely flipping your team around. This season, it was the Falcon DEFENSE that decided to be elite. Matt Ryan was competent as usual and Devonta Freeman is still about as hard to tackle as a final project...but this Falcons defense (when they weren't choking games away) was excellent, especially in January against a white-hot Rams team. They may not have had the flashiness of the Ravens defense or the utter dominance of the Vikings defense, but the Falcons did enough to keep themselves on top. As I mentioned, Matt Ryan was competent...but that was about it. The offense regressed quite a bit (from 1st place to 15th place, to be exact), owing to the "genius" of Steve Sarkisian. Have fun with him next year, Falcons! Get ready to feel the exact same pain Vikings fans had to deal with this year; losing on the cusp of hosting a Super Bowl.
Carolina Panthers: A
Coming back from a forgettable effort in 2016, the Panthers have regained their prominence in the South. The Panthers were dangerous on both sides of the ball...Cam Newton is a premier quarterback. Christian McCaffrey was an excellent addition to the Panthers run game, and Greg Olsen seems to finally have his groove back. Meanwhile, Luke Kuechly and the Panthers defense continued to provide some southern discomfort for any team unlucky enough to play them at home. Only thing about this team: like the Steelers, Carolina often played down to their competition. They beat the Vikings, the Patriots, and the Packers with Aaron Rodgers...but barely beat the 49ers, Buccaneers, and Jets, and actually LOST to the Bears. With consistency, I think this team could've easily gone 13-3. They may have lost to the Saints in the first round, but any other team would've certainly struggled against the Panthers. I look forward to seeing how they play next year.
New Orleans Saints: A
If you couldn't already tell, the NFC South was loaded with talent this year, and the Saints had plenty of it themselves. A perfect range of experience made up the structure of this team: Marshon Lattimore and a young defense outsped the NFL's fastest receivers, while rookie Alvin Kamara used his own brand of voodoo magic to revive the long dead Saints running game. They were led by wily veteran Drew Brees, who at age 39 proved that he's still among the NFL's elite, and for oncehe was actually surrounded by a great core of players. The only area this team struggled in was coaching...specifically from gillface himself, Sean Payton. Who could forget his antics in the game at Atlanta, where he ran out on the field and incurred a personal foul call that cost the Saints what should've been an easy victory? Regardless, with Brees still in the fold and a young team that will get better as time goes on, the Saints are going to be pretty healthy for the next few seasons. Here's hoping for a Jags-Saints Super Bowl next year (well, unless the Vikings make it back).
Tampa Bay Buccaneers: C-
Every family has that forgotten child that doesn't ever leave the nest. In this case, the Panthers, Falcons, and Saints have all gone on to Ivy League schools, while the Buccaneers barely got their high school diploma. Everyone expected the Buccaneers to compete for a wild card spot, but then realized they were playing in the toughest division of the NFL. Unlike the Lions, who actually had potential, this team absolutely crumbled in the face of it. Jameis Winston, who once struck me as one of the more mature quarterbacks in the NFL, is now a head case who pushes his own players around. The defense was never anything to sneeze at, but they were especially forgettable this year. You may have Mike Evans, Bucs, but Mike Evans certainly doesn't have any chill. This team lacks any semblance of control and level-headedness, and anybody who thought this team would be competing for a Lombardi trophy is walking the plank.
NFC WEST:
Arizona Cardinals: C
Another "rebuilding" year for the Cardinals...in other words, grass is green. The Cardinals are hard to make fun of...especially with Bruce Arians at the helm. Like the birds they represent, the Cardinals have the appearance of a tough football team, but can't back it up. Where do we even start...The offensive line was absolutely garbage; Carson Palmer got sacked six times by the 49ers in week four. SIX. BY THE 49ERS. With an aging QB like Palmer at the helm, it's important you protect him at all costs...instead, you let his arm get broken. Contragulation. Everything about this team seemed battered and watered down; the Cardinals have become the NFC's retirement home. Even Larry Fitzgerald didn't seem like himself. Great job with that Adrian Peterson trade, by the way. What happened to him? A career-ending injury, huh? As a Vikings fan, I should be laughing at this, but I truly pity this team. With all of your veterans quickly sputtering out, you better make something happen next year.
Los Angeles Rams: A
I love this team, almost as much as I love the Vikings. I named my blog after the elite Rams team I grew up watching, and what Sean McVay has done reminds of the days when Kurt Warner would torch secondarys all across the league. After a miserable first season, the bold decision to keep Jared Goff behind center has paid dividends for what was once the most uninspired offense in the league. Offensive player of the year Todd Gurley III has turned into an absolute bull, and Cooper Kupp and Sammy Watkins are leading the charge for young blood in the NFC receiver category. I don't often mention special teams players, but I will here: Johnny Hekker is a beast. Now that he has the offense and defense to get him to January, I'm hoping the man finally gets the recognition he deserves as one of the best kickers and fake punters in the league. As much as people hate Stan Kroenke, it's hard to deny that the Rams had one of the more heartwarming rises to prominence in the West after 10+ years of misery. Anyone who saw that documentary about the Rams last year knows how hard these guys worked to get here, and now that they are, it's gonna be very hard to stop them.
Seattle Seahawks: B-
Another team with depth problems? Seems like a common issue for dynasties this year...Russell Wilson continues to be the Seahawks offense. He has to be; his line did about as well as the Cardinals offensive line. The loss of Richard Sherman and Kam Chancellor took a toll on your defense, sure, but the biggest loss you had to endure was the death of the 12th man. Seriously, Hawks, how do you lose to the Redskins and Cardinals at home? Without the Legion of Boom and the 12th man, what does this team have? Maturity? The fiasco in Jacksonville says otherwise. A great offense? If you consider one man to be an offense. Good coaching? I suppose that's about it. Get your players healthy and draft a goddamn offensive line.
San Francisco 49ers: C+
How do you rate a team like this? This was a team that struggled to find their identity until game ten. Kyle Shanahan's tenure in the Bay Area was looking to be a short one...until Jimmy Garropolo showed up. Sure, Robbie Gould won most of your games for you, but Jimmy G. got them to the promised land against very stiff competitionin the Jaguars and the Titans (I suppose). Your defense actually wasn't laughable for once, and you've shed the Colin Kaepernick controversy quite admirably. I can't give you above a C if you get fewer than 7 wins, but good lord if I'm not excited about San Fran's prospects next year. I may not be the biggest fan of throwing millions of dollars at a guy who won five games, but at this point the 9ers have to try something.
